I fell on hard times recently. Out of a job. Savings depleted. The only thing that kept me going was the hope of a job that was sure but was taking more time than originally stipulated.
Desperation, hunger and life beneath the poverty line had slowly started taking a hold.
I’m a firm believer in my own abilities and uncomfortable with asking for help and handouts. So the idea of loans and IOU’s doesn’t sit well with me and my friends know it.
Unfortunately, I was now at a point where it was reach out or perish, and I’m definitely not perishing! So, I fire up a lengthy text to my guy (let’s call him Mr. A) detailing what was going on with me and asking, nay, begging for him to help out. His response was, to say the least, unexpected. “I’ll get back to you. Let me see what I can do”. I’d asked my guy for twenty thousand naira only, and that’s the response I got.
Hold up a minute before you start shouting a “smelling entitlement” jingo. This is my bossom friend I’d bailed out so many times when he was still finding his feet and I’d NEVER asked him for anything before. He drives a Benz jeep, has a cute pad on the island and is a steady baller. I’d just swallowed my pride and begged him for 20K.
I couldn’t believe it! While I wasn’t exactly angry, I was very disappointed. Unbelievable!
This said friend and I have mutual friends, one of which stays not too far from mine (let’s label him Mr. X). In the evening, I paid him a visit with the intention to rant.
As I sat down and steadied myself to launch into my tirade, Mr. X asked me what we could do to help Mr. A. For a moment, I was lost. Help who? That guy that’s “doing anyhow”? Mr. X seemed at a loss. So I delved into what I thought would be a tirade and it started with “that one I asked for 20K and he was doing anyhow?”
The next set of words out of Mr. X’s mouth were “guy na so u harsh reach? Person mama get cancer, him bank accounts dey frozen and u still dey beg am for money”?
Apparently, I’d been so caught up in my issues I’d not found time to find out if my friend(s) were doing any better or had their own issues.
The above story is NOT a true story, but it could easily be. We get so caught up when we have issues that we don’t realize that our friend(s) who seem to have their life together may have problems we totally missed.
Perception and truth may seem like relatives atimes, but they have the ability to be total strangers!
What’s the point of this article? To ask you to pause and give people the benefit of the doubt and not feel victimised without an idea of the bigger picture. There might be quite a bit you didn’t get the memo for. Reach out to your friends who seem fine even when you are not. It fosters a loyalty you can never imagine/understand.
Be more humane to humanity. Forget all this wokeness, slay and film-trick packaging/branding. In 2020, find time to actually be a friend to your friend(s).
Happy new year everyone!
About the author
Born back in the late 70’s, S Dot became a household name in Nigeria in the mid 2000s as one of the pioneering Vee Jays of Soundcity TV.
Equally adept at rapping and sound production, he has now turned his attention to writing pieces that resonate with the current state of the global village known as the world, but from a Nigerian point of view. The Lagos-based rapper/presenter/producer and now writer, just wants to find creative ways of sharing that jumbled hot-mess mind of his.